the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
