booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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