just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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