Define "chronic" masturbator.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
