Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
