who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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