hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
