So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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