i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize