ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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