do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
