We won't sleep together?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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