i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
