I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
