The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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