what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
