I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize