It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
