First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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