just tell him i said nine months
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
