You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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