i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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