My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
