At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
