What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
