somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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