help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
