Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
