carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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