i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
