xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
