I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
