I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
