I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
