I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize