hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
