The maid of honor just puked.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
