I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize