i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
