I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
