I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize