I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she peed on how many people?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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