Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
