Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
