I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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