I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
