You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
