very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
