just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
