I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
