i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
