Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
3 2 1 whiskey
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
