He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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