There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
