i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize