seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
