So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
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