Only a mothe r could love this liver
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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