I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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