it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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