people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
