so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize