found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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