You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
