I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
