I feel like abortions should bother me more
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
