david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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