i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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