my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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